12 weeks

12 weeks is an eternity. Especially when you're in a state of paranoia. Wishing hoping praying that everything is as it should be. I was convinced I had number of pregnancy complications/conditions.. Had all the symptoms Wikipedia described. Thankfully Dr Google was wrong... This time. 

Checking the pregnancy app every day to find that yet again the baby is still the size of a kidney bean.. Not big enough! I thought having a toddler would make this period of time fly! It hasn't. Same worried,sick,delirious 12 weeks as the first time. 

I don't want to be mean by sharing this picture but I was really jealous when I saw this lady. I wanted to be pushed around, munching on a giant block of cheese and have a supply of Cheezits in the trunk during that period of time. I would have been as happy as a clam.  She's probably at Disneyland too, happiest place on earth just to escalate my jealousy. 

                                             

I struggled with smells again this time. I deliberately stopped using my perfume incase I developed a hatered. Cooking was out of the question. I stopped making Boston's omlette in the morning and tried poaching.. When that failed (picture below) I started making oatmeal again which we both enjoy. 

                                    

I was living in Vancouver during the worst weeks. Since I often feel bad about my cooking prowess.. I thought I'd pop on a boat over to Granville Island Markets and buy some yummy dinners. Bad move. I bought steak and lamb skewers covered in a potent marinade. Only then I realized my husband was on night shoots all week so the meat just sat in the fridge and made me ill everytime I had to

open it. I didn't have the heart to throw it out so I cooked it all with a tea towel tied around my head. I'd hoped cooking it would take the edge off the smell. It didn't, so it sat in the fridge again.. Killing me slowly. It was the lambs revenge. Being in a hotel didn't help. I told my BFF my tortuous tale and she couldn't understand why I wasn't just getting room service every night. So from then on.. I did and it was wonderful. My husband kindly paid the bill on checkout and never mentioned how enormous it was. We lived there for 1 month. 

Thankfully now I'm in a much better state. I no longer get to tear point about having to unload the dishwasher and sort the cutlery. It's a roller coaster. I wish I was cooler but I'm not. I was really mean during early pregnancy last time. I was a lot nicer this time. I still have my friends and haven't hit anyone with anything so that's a positive. 

Here's to a happy healthy pregnancy round two!!  Please! 🙏